Need help with my life...?

Hey everyone. I am a 19 year old guy and I have attraction to guys and sometimes girls, but I only see myself in a relationship with a guy. Am I gay or bi? Problem is, I am closeted to everyone and if my parents know I like guys, they would for sure kick me out. I know for a fact no one in my family would accept me, as they call me ******, make fun of me for never having a girlfriend etc. I love my family, but it kills me when they make fun of homosexuals because I would love for them to love me for who I am, but it will never happen. I believe I am clinically depressed because I have all the signs of it.. such as nail and finger biting, feeling lonely, crying often etc. I tend to fall for many different guys, but there is this one guy I have fallen for so hard, I'm still trying to get over him for over a year. It's hurts me emotionally because I have never opened up to anyone because I feel so trapped in my own skin all the time. I would love to have a happy relationship, one that my family and friends would accept my partner being together, and get together during holidays, family get togethers etc, but I never see that happening. My brother often has his girlfriend over and she is like family to us, but it breaks my heart knowing I will never have that oppurtunity. Basically, I am begging for help in what I should do, because I feel like this feeling "trapped" feeling is only getting worse and worse.