Sunday, July 10, 2011

Does this sound like I have depression to you?

Okay well lets start by giving some background info: i'm 13 and a male and live in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania. I'm in 7th grade now and I moved her in 4th grade from Gainesville Florida. I miss it very much. I have low self esteem and am very weight conscious. I'm thin but I deal with over eating and am getting over bulimia (by myself). Well I have a pretty good family. I live in a nice house and I guess were wealthy. Like im writing this question from my iPod touch. Well when I moved her I was kind of a nerd. I didn't know what was "cool" or socially accepted. I found out later in 6 th grade that I was gay. In 4th grade I would act geekish or whatever and get called gay, as an insult, a ton. Actually on 2 occasions I got physichally bullied. I thought I had friends but they found out I was uncool or something and they were the people who actually bullied me later. I probably didn't have real friends between 4th and 5th grade. I would always get depressed usually between mid-march to the end of September. And it was always around nightime like 6pm. For some reason I never was really depressed in winter. And btw when I saw depressed I mean very sad. Not clinically diagnosed. And so in the night I would get so sad and it was on unbearable porpotions. Now in 6th I was kinda nerdish but I had few friends but I was pretty mean. People hated me. I mean like they actually hated me. And when I came to school the sadness would come and frankly, looking back, I have no clue how I survived. A lot days I would fake sick so I didn't have to deal with the pain of school. In the middle of 6th grade I tried to join the "popular" group. I guess I kinda made it in. I totally changed myself but I knew they weren't my real friends. Around that time I began to watch all seasons of the office or FRIENDS online and it kinda made me feel like I has real friends. I did that a ton in the summer between 6th and 7th grade. Over that summer I also most severly developed my bulimia. I hated my sel

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