Am I depressed or do I want there to be something wrong with me?

Yes I do believe you are clinically depressed. Negativity, self loathing, sleeping too much and pushing people away are all signs of depression. The weed is part of the problem it is a depressant. So are cigarettes do you smoke? If you take certain types of medication that are depressants like allergy tablets that make you sleep or pm acetaminaphen or pm ibuprophen the pm part is a depressant. If you dont get out in the sunshine enough. If you dont get enough vitamin b"s and d vitamins. Many things can contribute to depression. If you really want to get better and be happy you will have to make the choice to do so. Get rid of all the depressants in your life and dont watch negative tv , sad, scary or nerve wracking shows till you get better watch comedys. There is a herb called St Johns Wort you can take it works. When problems arise be positive even if you have to force it because the out come will make you happy and you will see some real results. If you can go see a therapist. They may have to prescribe you antidepressants. I pulled myself out of deep depression 10 years ago taking these steps and the St. Johns Wort. You can get it at Wal Mart. Stay positive things in life are always going to change and not be what you want them to be its how you choose to live thats important. Live your life proactivly not reactionally. Be a person that does the best they can to deal with what ever comes your way in a positive manner. It will make you feel much better. And in this life you will probably be able to count your true friends on one hand . So dont be upset if you dont have a boat load of friends most people that have that many they are not real friends just aquaintances. It is a fast paced world we live in and many people dont have time to be friends its not you no matter how crabby you are. I know lots of crabby mean pushy people and eventually they find someone like me to be friends with. So hang in there. Take Care.